Most therapy websites in BC say they are inclusive. The word “affirming” appears on a lot of pages. The experience of finding a therapist who actually understands what affirming means, who has done the specific work, who will not require you to teach them the basics before the real conversation begins, is harder than the marketing suggests.
This post is for the queer, trans, two-spirit, polyamorous, or non-monogamous person who has read a few therapist pages, felt unsure, and wants a clearer sense of what to look for. It explains what affirming care actually involves, who it serves, how it differs from general therapy, and how a free 20 minute online discovery session helps you decide.
What “affirming” actually means in practice
Affirming care is not the absence of harm. It is the active presence of recognition.
A therapist who is affirming sees your identity as a fact about you, not as a topic to be discussed before the work can start. Your relationship structure is not a problem to be solved. Your gender, your orientation, the way you live with the people you love, these arrive in the room with you, and they are welcome.
In practice, that looks like four specific things.
You do not have to explain your identity from scratch every session. The therapist already knows the words, the dynamics, the social cost. Energy stays with the work, not with the translation.
Pronouns are correct, every time. Not “preferred pronouns” but pronouns. They appear on intake forms, on the bookings page, in conversation. A therapist who is still calibrating in session three is not the right fit.
Polyamory and ENM are taken at face value. Your relationship structure is not pathologized. It is simply where you live.
The history is acknowledged. A therapist who is welcoming for LGBTQ2S+ clients understands that queer people have specific reasons to be cautious about therapy. Conversion practices. Misdiagnosis. Decades of being treated as case studies. Organizations like Egale Canada document this history publicly, and an affirming therapist works inside that awareness.
A therapist who is not affirming will sometimes do the right things and still feel slightly off. The questions are too tentative. The pauses come at the wrong moments. You spend the first five minutes of every session calibrating before you can land. Multiplied across a year, that calibration is hours of energy that should be going to the actual work.
A small reflection, only if it helps
These questions are not a quiz, and nothing is recorded. The path you take just routes you to a recommendation that fits what you said. You can go back or start over at any point.
If this interactive guide does not load, the main paths it covers are: about the practice, LGBTQ2S+ counselling, trauma therapy, life coaching, group programs.
Who LGBTQ2S-affirming counselling is for
Anyone who would benefit from being met without explanation. Specifically:
- Queer, lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults navigating relationships, identity, or coming out
- Trans, non-binary, two-spirit, and gender-questioning adults at any stage of self-discovery
- Polyamorous, ENM, and relationship-anarchist clients
- LGBTQ2S+ people working through religious trauma, family rejection, or chosen family dynamics
- Anyone whose identity intersects with complex trauma, anxiety, or grief and who wants both layers met at once
You do not need to be in crisis to want this kind of care. Many people seek it out because they want a therapist who simply gets it, so the conversation can be about something else.
You are not behind. You are exactly where the path led you.
How affirming counselling differs from general therapy
A general therapist may be a skilled clinician and still not be the right fit. Therapy is intimate. Intimate work runs on shared context.
The differences show up in three places.
Intake. An affirming therapist’s intake recognises the questions LGBTQ2S+ clients commonly want answered before they will commit. Have you worked with people like me before? Do you have specific training? What do you do when you do not know something? Do you assume, ask, or research?
Pacing. Identity work is not a side topic to be dealt with first and then “moved past”. It threads through everything. An affirming therapist works with that, not around it.
Modality. Some approaches are more naturally affirming than others. Internal Family Systems (IFS), an approach that treats the mind as a community of parts, all welcome and none broken, is non-pathologizing by design. Somatic work honours what the body knows about identity, often before language catches up. These approaches tend to fit better than methods that lean heavily on diagnostic categories.
What this looks like at Turning Tides specifically
Kotone Frankowski is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor and a Certified Life Coach, and she runs the practice. She holds IFS Affinity Group Training geared toward the Global Majority. She is a member of the Association of Cooperative Counselling Therapists of BC. Sessions are 50 minutes, online, and available to clients across British Columbia.
The practice welcomes clients of every cultural background, identity, and relationship structure. That is a fact, not a sales claim. The work itself is paced by what the client brings, not by what the therapist assumed at the door.
Three services map to common starting points. LGBTQ2S+ counselling is the steady, individual work for one person navigating identity, family dynamics, or healing. LGBTQ2S+ relationship counselling is for two or more people working on what they share. Group programs run alongside individual work for clients who want structured support and connection with people on similar paths.
What to look for when you are choosing
A few signals that a therapist’s affirming-ness goes beyond the website.
- The about page mentions specific identities, communities, or relationship structures by name, not just “diverse populations”
- The therapist is open about ongoing training, not a one-time certification
- The bookings page uses inclusive language and offers a low pressure way to meet first
- Reviews mention being seen, not just being helped
- The therapist is comfortable saying what they do not know
You can also ask, in the first conversation: “What experience do you have working with the part of my life that matters most here?” An affirming therapist will answer specifically. A non-affirming one will reach for general statements about being inclusive.
How the free discovery session works
The discovery session at Turning Tides is free, online, and 20 minutes. It is meant for the question this post is about. Is this the right fit?
There is no commitment. You ask what you need to ask. The therapist answers honestly. If the fit is not right, that is also useful, you have one more data point about what you are looking for.
The conversation is not a clinical intake. It is not where the work begins. It is where you decide whether to begin the process here.
A small step
If you have been reading therapist websites and finding them blurry, a little too smooth, a little too inclusive of everyone, you might be looking for something more specific.
Affirming care is a specific thing. It is not the same as kind care, or skilled care, or trauma informed care. It is the care that sees your identity as part of who you are, not as a topic to be addressed before the real work can start.
The free 20 minute discovery session is the simplest way to find out whether what is on the page matches what is in the room.
Important
This article is for informational and educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional counselling, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
If you need support right now
- 988 · 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline (Canada)
- 1-833-456-4566 · Crisis Services Canada
Or call your local emergency services.
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